My own little new adventure..

Wowza, I haven't been on here in quite some time. I've been doing quite a lot of reading which often means I've been lazy about my writing. The latest book I've read has inspired me quite a bit. Its called "The Kind Diet" by Alicia Silverstone (our old friend Cher from Clueless!). I love it! Its about how she became a vegetarian and then a vegan but it also goes further into how being a vegan is kind to your body, animals & the environment. I've been a vegetarian for about 10 months now and haven't missed eating meat at all. Reading Alicia's book inspired me to try veganism. Of course I've picked thee most difficult month of the year to become vegan, so I admit I've been rather lax and won't be full force until Jan 1st. But I'm glad I have this transition time. Not only is it financially smarter (cuz there is no way I'm throwing out any food, tis the season to penny pinch!) but it also lets me play around with vegan recipes so I'll be well prepared. I'll be sharing recipes I love as I go along & I'm sure I'll talk more about my reasons for wanting to be a vegan. I'm excited for this new adventure & hopefully I'll inspire some of you as well!

Dear Justin Timberlake

Dear JT:

I understand that you're a millionaire & you're busy spending all the money your fans gave you, but do you think you could take a break from the ski trips & dating hot chicks to make a new album.. you havnt made one since '06, ...even crazy Britney Spears has made two albums since then. You can't just 'bring sexy back' then ditch us. Time to put out.

Regards, Amanda

Letters from the Editor 4

Dear A-hole who has no regard for your neighbors,

First, I would like to thank you for spending a ridiculous amount of money and effort to attain amazing illegal fireworks. It was your frivolous efforts that helped you succeed in transforming a quite forested neighborhood into a glowing, smoke filled dessert war zone. I'll never forget the blur of deer as they hauled ass outta their warm cozy thickets, a la "Bambi" when they're running from the fire. So precious.

All in all, your fireworks were fun to watch.... especially since I knew that if your very unsteady, alcohol affected aiming was off at all, you'd hit one of the thickly grown, giant evergreen trees & then some of my favorite uniformed men at the fire department would be sure to come. That would've been a fabulous way to end the evening... or any evening really.

So, with all these accolades I bet you're wondering why I'm addressing you as an A-hole. Well if you weren't such a moron you'd realize that while setting off your bombs & loud ass explosions on Saturday was acceptable, tonight is Sunday & its already 11:45pm and most everybody HAS TO WORK ON MONDAY! Now I find myself to be more lenient then most since I usually work the late shift at work, but even 11:45pm is pushing it. I found myself listening closely after each blast for the sweet sweet sound of you crying out "my eye, oh gawd, my eye"... words that would surely send me into a deep relaxed sleep.

However, it was well after midnight that you finally stopped your missile strike. I somehow managed to not go outside and yell at you to "go sit on a roman candle." However, I'd like to warn you that should you continue these rude late night non-weekend shenanigans, I will be calling the cops on you. Partially so you get put in your place but also because, c'mon, how often do I get to call the nicely uniformed fully armed cops in this neighborhood?.... On the second thought... go ahead, light your bombs at midnight :)

God bless America... land of the free, & the home of the brave (with a light sprinkling of A-holes)

~Amanda 7/5/09

For Now I Smile Inside

I asked "what is there to hope for"
"how will things ever be right"
Little did I know
My feeble cry was heard that night

It came upon me softly
Like a soothing breeze
Little by little it became clear
This future was for me

But for now I can't yet have it
Though I see it within reach
Guess I have more yet to learn
Guess He has more to teach

Would it have been easier
To not see the future fully realized
If I remained ignorant to what I'm missing
If I couldn't see the prize

No, He knows my heart
I needed a fresh new breath
Of a life that was to come
To save me from the depths

So for now I smile inside
And keep my mind focused on the goal
For it will be here before long
A new life that I will know

Letters from the Editor #3

Dear Coworkers,

When I fill in for an absent employee, which is frequent considering its vacation season, please refrain from coming up to 'my' desk and looking utterly disappointed that the person you were expecting is gone. Please just smile and move on if you do not want MY help. Thus allowing me to skip saying things I don't mean, such as "sorry" and "can I help you with that."

Also, it would be best if you would omit using the following intolerable comments as well: "when is 'blah' going to be back?", "how long is 'blah' gone for?", "geez, is 'blah' ever coming back?". I can handle these questions precisely one time, after that I reserve the right to either completely ignore you or else throw whatever heavy desk object I find directly at your head. Thank you for your compliance.

Regards,
Amanda

P.S. If anyone ever offers you a desk with a great window view, make sure its not located by the office bathrooms before you accept it. Its not worth it, believe me. Especially if the windows do not open. I'm filling in at one such desk and it smells, well, crappy... I mean, good lord, what are these people eating??!!!!

RIP Sofie

So I got my hamster Sofie a few months ago & all was well and good for awhile.... then she died. I have no idea how but all I can do is laugh at my life that's truly a tragic comedy. May she rest in hamster heaven.


I gave her food
I gave her water
Put up her wheel
And hamster fodder

I bought her treats
The best of bedding
She was hamster royalty
Based on what she was getting

But for one weekend
I left her alone
And found out she'd died
When i got home

Her water bottle fresh
Her food piled deep
So why had she
Died in her sleep?

The wheel not turning
From her cage no creaks
As I clean it all up
I can still hear her peeps

I feel a little
Like a country song
If this reflects my parenting
I'll never be a mom

As I sit here and ponder
& prepare her little burial sermon
I make a firm decision:
No more vermin.

5/24/09

Letters from the Editor #2

Dear Skittles Company,

I recently purchased your product after many years of absence. It was on a dreary afternoon in which I was vehemently anticipating to 'taste the rainbow' as you have so emphatically advertised. Therefore, you must understand my shock as I proceeded to chew my apparently rainbow-less skittles. Granted, at first there was a burst of flavor of which I was delighted, but a mere chew later and the flavor turned into some sort of, what I can only imagine to be, chemical burn. I tried again, not thwarted by my first disappointing attempt at tasting the rainbow, yet the same results were sadly repeated. I was unable to ingest any more of your product. In conclusion, I would like a full refund of my 45 cents and offer my suggestion that you change your slogan to "Taste the Waste".

Regards, Amanda

"The Sharing Corner" episode 1

So I've been vegetarian for over 3 mths! Yay! I still really like it a lot and haven't missed the meat one bit. I've already lost weight eating clean and am looking forward to more results.

This past weekend, however, I finally answered a question that had been burning on my mind since I first began eating vegetarian... how is it that there are overweight vegetarians??? Well, I now know the answer. After a weekend of cheese pizza, reduced fat cheeze-its, & pineapple coconut juice, popcorn, skittles, etc; I felt very very unhealthy. This all happened because I didn't have any meals prepared ahead of time like I've been doing. So when I got sick I didn't care what I was eating. Thus finally answering my own question, & yes, it is quite possible to be an unhealthy vegetarian.

Now that I got that all out of my system (believe me... with all those carbs it was quite the painful challenge!). I'm back on the health kick & I'm ready to break open a new cookbook and try some exciting (or at least yummy) vegetarian dishes.

This weekend I made Tofu Veggie Stir Fry which ended up being more like "Tofu Veggie 'fried' Rice" since I added 1/2cup long grain rice. All in all, it could be better. It needs more spice. After all, I do like my spicy dishes! Any ideas as to what spice to add would be very welcomed. I didn't use a specific recipe, just lots of stir fry veggies, a little oil & garlic, soy sauce & tofu. Let me know!

I'd also like to thank my family and those around me for putting up with my new vegetarian diet... I try not to talk about it too much but it's exciting! :)

Annoyed

I'm annoyed today. I decided to complain in a poem... I figured I would sound artistic with a poem as opposed to sounding like a grump with the long rant I had wanted to post. Pfft.


Have you ever hit the point where you're all full up?
No room left in your life cup?
For all their nagging
Gossip & bragging
You earnestly wish they'd shut up?

Today I think I've reached that level
Feels like I need a shovel
For all their issues
Handing them tissues
So I'm avoiding them like the devil

Its not just them you know
Other people always want to know
Why aren't you wed?
Soon you'll be dead
Oh pfft, I wish they'd go.

Then there are those who are sensitive
To the opinions that I give
If you don't agree
Thats fine with me
Geez, I'm just tryin to live.

Time for all the noise to stop
Or else I'm gonna flop
No more opinions
From all the minions
Cuz my cup is filled to the top.


Yay Mondays.

Breathing Again

Soft blue, all around
sun dazzling in the sky
Where is this place, I have found
with soft grass on which I lie

As i sit myself up and breathe in deep
I take in the sweet smell of new life
My heart feels lighter then its ever been
someone's wiped away the strife

Of dreams not reached, heartaches many
my soul aching with each blow
The strife of perhaps a separate life
seems so far away, so long ago

No, I won't let my mind wander there
I happily embrace the sudden peace
The hope and joy and endless love
that lingers on the breeze

What is that sound, that splendid sound
floating to my ear
I close my eyes to concentrate
yes, i know the voice i hear

Then he's there beside me
sliding his hands into mine
I open my eyes and see his smile
and know all will be fine

No words are spoke yet I hear his voice
speaking to my soul
"Rest here with me, a little while
until its time to go."

I want to worry about having to leave
but my mind remains at ease
I lay my head upon his shoulder
as my heart floats in tranquility

It could've been days, years, centuries
that i remained in that state of bliss
Til suddenly, he hugged me close
and gave my cheek a kiss

I then awoke alone in bed
to singing birds and the morning glow
Had it all been just a dream, a sweet vision?
no, it'd all been real, I just know

My heart was still light, old pains gone
nothing left to fear
For I knew now, even when he's gone
to my heart he's always near.

4/29/09

Letter's From the Editor #1

Dear UPS guy, when you lost my pkg last month we made a deal, I would give you one more chance and you would always wear those cute brown shorts. Yet today you did not... and no, I don't care that its snowing, a deal is a deal.

Regards, Amanda.

"Slap me, I'm an April Fool"

Its April Fools... possibly my least favorite day of the year. Its the national holiday for all those simpletons who lack a true funny bone. The ones who don't always get the joke the first time, who don't pick up on it when you're being sarcastic, who spend a lot of time looking at me (the smart ass) with rather blank stares. Yes, these humor challenged individuals soak up this one day a year to attempt to pull off 'funny'. Bless their little hearts.

Often they've started skillfully planning weeks in advance for this day. Like the year a coworker of mine diligently practiced a fake accent for months just so he could spend a whole 45 seconds pranking me on the phone. So precious.

Yea, I'm required to keep a face of encouragement to these awkward creatures. Meaning my entire April 1st is spent forcing at least a few half smiles and a handful of a "wow, you sure got me with that whoopee cushion" type of comments. Its like watching in pain as the Special Olympics' kids compete against the pros. (insert shout out to Obama here)

Sure, I often wish that when one of these goons walks up to me to tell a joke (then very unskillfully check the post it note 'hidden' in their hand for the punch line) well I wish I could just stare at them blankly and walk away without any acknowledgment of their painful attempt at humor. But I just can't. After all, I suppose I could give them one day of the year considering they are my, albeit often unwilling, audience the other 364 days of the year. Yes, I think next year I should even get them all t-shirts to commemorate their special day of being 'funny'. Perhaps florescent pink shirts with a catchy slogan like "Slap me, Im an April Fool!!!"

~ Amanda (aka Smartass McGee)

What'll I do with the rest of my A1 Steak Sauce?

I've recently gone on a health kick... more a 'lifestyle change' kick.
Cleaning out my apartment and revamping right down to the bedsheets
(yay for high-count sheets that don't sand my ass when I slide into
bed!). This included a revamp of my fridge. I've decided to become
vegetarian for a couple reasons... first, it seems really healthy and
quite possibly the best way to insure I finally incorporate a large
amount of produce into my diet (no more giving myself double veggie
credit when consuming 'sour cream and chives pototo chips' ya know, for
the potatos and chives of course).

Secondly, I've long been an animal lover but more recently have been
feeling the pull towards an occupation in animal health, such as Veterinarian work. Because of this I've felt a strange internal conflict with the fact that I'd be eating, well, potential patients.

Thirdly, when people go on about the fact that they eat only high
priced organic I have an automatic one-up on them... "oh really, but
you do still eat poor, innocent animals, right?" :) kidding kidding
(ok, not really.. i do look forward to that.)

Point is, I'm
eating vegetarian and, so far, loving it. I've already tried a couple
fabulous recipes and will share these here on my blog occasionally but
I also look forward to any input on other great recipes or tips. I've
found cooking veggies & tofu & fish (yes, i still eat fish and
dairy such as cheese) so much more simpler then cooking poultry or red
meat. Plus, I'm very excited that even if i don't fully cook my veggies
or tofu I won't get food poisoning (like I've done to myself SO MANY
times with chicken! Evil bird.)

So there it is. I'm a food snob.
And while I fully plan on showing off to all of you my new fabulously
healthy snob diet, past history has taught me that I'm really much too
lazy when it comes to bragging (or most things really) so you don't
have to worry :) Bon Appetite!

Writer's Block

Um, this is the best i got in a couple months. Yikes. I blame the weather.

Suck it Writer's Block

Writer's block
You really suck
I can't think because of you

No words to flow
No rhymes to spin
You're makin this writer blue

Now I'm fed up
It's been too long
Writers block, I'll just write about you.

1/30/09

Yea I said it, writers block can suck it. Hmmm, but now what to write about. Aggghhh. (insert annoying Cathy comic here).

Fate?

I actually wrote this in October & forgot to post...

Geez, I haven't written in awhile. My thoughts have been tangled I suppose. Recent events got me thinking about fate and how its become such cliche but no one really knows if its real. I'd like to think my life is forming as I move forward... but some days I really have my doubts...

Fate?

Some people call it fate

When things don't work out right

Me, I think its just a way

That they can sleep at night

What if there's just a simple outline

Of major events in our lifetime

But its really our human error

That can misguide us off that line

What if the longer we're off course

The longer major life events are delayed

And by the time we get there

The details are scattered, splayed

Maybe, just for instance

You were suppose to meet your shining knight

But you were consumed with worldly troubles

And you couldn't see the green light

What would happen then?

Would your life events be shuffled?

Will the chance come around again?

Or will it forever remain muffled ?

Do we really only get one shot?

What happens if we miss?

Does that piece of our life

Merely cease to exist?

Perhaps some things can't be answered

I guess no one really knows

All we can do is our best

And have faith as our life flows.

~Amanda 10/25/08