Dear Coworkers,
When I fill in for an absent employee, which is frequent considering its vacation season, please refrain from coming up to 'my' desk and looking utterly disappointed that the person you were expecting is gone. Please just smile and move on if you do not want MY help. Thus allowing me to skip saying things I don't mean, such as "sorry" and "can I help you with that."
Also, it would be best if you would omit using the following intolerable comments as well: "when is 'blah' going to be back?", "how long is 'blah' gone for?", "geez, is 'blah' ever coming back?". I can handle these questions precisely one time, after that I reserve the right to either completely ignore you or else throw whatever heavy desk object I find directly at your head. Thank you for your compliance.
Regards,
Amanda
P.S. If anyone ever offers you a desk with a great window view, make sure its not located by the office bathrooms before you accept it. Its not worth it, believe me. Especially if the windows do not open. I'm filling in at one such desk and it smells, well, crappy... I mean, good lord, what are these people eating??!!!!
3 comments:
Seriously. I hate when co-workers do that!!! I love reading your letters from the editor!!!!
Perhaps you should make a "No Crapping Allowed" sign. Or you could get a can of spray and aim it at the stinky ones when they exit the bathroom!!
Have you thought about wearing a mask with your favorite guy cologne rubbed on the inside mask. On a stinky stuffy airplane a guy in front of me wearing much man perfume was the only thing that got me through. Bless him. :)
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